in may, i moved to la. "living the dream." "shooting for the stars." "making it big." those are the starry-eyed sentiments of many like myself who have come to la to pursue a long-time dream of a life in entertainment. stories are varied and endless. some kids get off the proverbial bus only to realize that there are thousands others waiting to be "discovered" for the next wb series or the newest installment of american pie. some people stick around for a few months, get tired of the struggle, and jet back to omaha for some home cooking and a stable corporate job. others stick around for ten or fifteen years--scoring gigs every so often--but still with a job waiting tables waiting for "the big break." one of these kids may find success and move on to marry her favorite childhood movie star and set up shop as the new hollywood starring mom. still others find work as a recurring figure on a somewhat obscure tv series, paying the bills but never becoming a household name. for each of us, the story is very different.
between the auditions, the bartending and waiting tables, however, and woven through the supposed hollywood glamour and partying, is a life that offers each one of us the chance to shine and sparkle, even if not on the big screen or live stage. los angeles offers a weird beauty not found elsewhere, an excitement that hovers just under our noses, and paradoxical ease of life to which california has long been married.
although i have lived in california only three short months, i have encountered high moments of realization and anticipation, but i have also experienced the slow melancholy notes that stir my stomach as the reality of an intense and hard-working career settles in. each moment here i have inhaled a breath that is a tincture of beauty, serenity, restlessness and apprehension. a strange uneasiness mixed with satisfaction and expectation. each breath i take in and let go, moving on to the next.
these are my feelings as i sit in the sunlight on a friday afternoon, anticipating what my life here holds.
About Me
- team group leader
- colorado native. extrovert, with a penchant for adrenaline and breaking rules. educated, without a college degree and with basic social skills.
the believer
monocle
good
4 comments:
I think you should write a screenplay about these emotions.
patrick's feelings in la are as emo as a scene kid at a my chemical romance show.
the difference is that we HEART patrick and he's not just a follower like the scene kids - he's a paver-of-the-way kid.
I could actually hear the waves crashing on the beach while I read that. You really ought to branch out a bit and start a screenplay, or get some sort of sidejob writing copy. We all know you're set apart from the rest already; one of these days the Big Guys will, too.
b-e-a-u-tiful, Pat!
You're gonna be a star, kid, you're gonna be a star!
And if you fall flat on your ass you always have a place here with us in the dirty dirty.
XOX
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