casino christmas

from the beginning, i was skeptical about spending christmas in minnesota. the truth is, i would rather be snowboarding in colorado than ice fishing in the frozen north. however, like a good son should, i made the pilgrimage.

my family and i arrived in st. paul within an hour of each other. they picked me up, and we headed 1.5 hours further north. the plan:
1) get to the timeshare
2) purchase groceries
3) find a christmas tree
4) make dinner, decorate the tree, and have a beautiful minnesota christmas.

plans changed. by the time we found our accomodations, the five o'clock hour was nearing; we soon found that any chance for grocery shopping had ended at 4pm. my idea was to play "family christmas scavenger hunt" going door to door asking for the dinner ingredients. mom mumbled something about "oh patrick, i'm sure you would love that--" and i got the feeling she wasn't all that into the idea.

our only hope: an indian reservation with a casino and market 30 minutes north. we hopped in the car, ready to meet the ojibwe tribe at their hot casino. but to my mother's dismay, this market, too, had closed at four. the family had a moment of silence. . . and we headed for the casino. we were greeted with large signs blaring the "$12.99 prime rib special," the noise of the slots, and the omnipresent cigarette smoke.

i could only squeeze about two dollars out of my dad to play the 5¢ slots, and after a family conference on how to actually play the thing, i promptly lost it all. sean and i proposed the greatest casino heist of all time: the little tree in the corner could easily become our own. mom rolled her eyes.

the new plan:
1) find a christmas tree
2) eat dinner at the casino

we rolled down the road toward a gas station. plans changed again. sean and i decided to shop at the convenience store for christmas dinner. a box of pasta, jar of sauce, and loaf of bread later, we drove on, hoping to find that special christmas tree. squinting out my window, i barely spied it. across the highway, under a darkened porch, were the remains of a christmas tree sale. as we approached, mom's eyes lit up, and i knew she wouldn't mind that we would be performing a more subdued heist. i soon found out that mom would be the one to manhandle the whole thing.

we stepped out of the car, surveying what was left of the sale. simultaneously, mom and i walked toward the same tree. it was perfect. the branches were sturdy, and the smell was invigorating. we knew this was it. the only problem: it was nailed down to a board to keep it there--i mean, to keep it standing up there. with more family unity than i have seen since my dad tried moving the family to kansas, we pulled and pulled, un-securing the tree, and quickly shoving it into our trailblazer.

the ride home home was nice. mom kept commenting on how good the tree smelled, and i kept thinking how i would enjoy the convenience store dinner. ah, yes. a casino, a pasta dinner, and a fresh christmas tree: mom's perfect minnesota christmas.


p.s. - mom wanted to be sure everyone knows we will be paying for the tree as soon as we can. of course, mom. of course.